Guelaguezta Bug Talk
Mark N. Miller: "The cricket thing was a big surprise. I was happily discussing all the wonderfully useless minutiae and trivia with my SLDC compatriots that I cherish so much, when a plate of dead and desiccated insect like creatures was thrust violently under my shnoz. Firstly, it took my eyes a few seconds to adjust...then my brain...then my reflexive peristaltic reaction. Mute with shock and and imminent ralphidge, I sat with a bewildered smile frozen on my face. I couldn't figure out the reason for my friends' obvious delight in showing me a plate of roaches. I thought perhaps someone had found the Orkin man's leavings and thought it was funny or something.....then it dawned on me... The growing cacophony that was swelling around me was actually a chorus of encouraging shouts and squeals. They wanted me to EAT one of those fucking things! I respectfully declined. The plate was again thrust angrily in front of me in silent demand. " Uhg, you eat!" was the undeniably Paleolithic message. The energy in the room grew more insatiable....the primates were angry. Not unfamiliar with mob psychology, I new my next response had to be forceful and clear--or I might be picking grasshoppers out of my sinuses for weeks. Girding up my nads I bellowed the heroic battle cry of 'FUCK NO!!!' ...It worked! Sweet Mary Mother of suffering Christ it worked!!
The crestfallen holder of the hors(ibble) d'oeuvres took her fare
elsewhere and I was saved."
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ChrislOve ate a bug:
"With regards to whether or not I ate a cricket: OF COURSE I did!!! I mean, what is the dinner club FOR, if not to explore the exotic nether reaches of foreign cuisine with the support and companionship of your friends? And besides, I have always believed it is critically important to try anything once (as long as it doesn't kill you, and eating a harmless little bug won't hurt you...it's just a CULTURAL repulsion, silly!). Personally, I found that the textural phases of the process were the most interesting features of the experience. The cricket tasted sort of salty, but the miniscule amount of meat on its...er...bones was of such brief consequence that I couldn't rightly say if there was an actual flavor or not. Then I remember the feeling of its little ...legs on my tongue and the sound they made as I crunched them between my teeth. As the little legs and salty speck made its way to the back of my mouth I was overwhelmed by the sensation that I had just eaten bark or little bits of bitter splinter. All in all it was a very fleeting experience due to the size of the subject in question. Perhaps if I had eaten a whole MOUTHFUL of insects I would be able to more easily distinguish a particular flavor. I am left to wonder if these crickets were really aged because they did not resemble the plump young ones I used to feed to my toad--'Toadie'--and if my cat's jealous drool is anything to go by, THOSE crickets were delectable. I also wondered if the crickets were beheaded BEFORE or after they were killed."
ChrislOve
Prickle
Dawn Laureen
heyjuan
Marcel
Artemis
ONYXJOHN
Ivan Johnson
Monstrosa
Meithaus
Wes Boudville
CTHULHU
Johann Bauermeister
Chichiuaua
Cake
Mark N. Miller
Gus Hudson
Liz
Ismael
Gale Holland
Luis De La Vega
Robert Moss
Howard Hallis "I ate some bugs!"
Liz K
Pwoll Arden
Avivah Rapoport
Todd Feldman
Stephanie Faeilla
Farrah Rocker
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