Roscoe’s on Pico is so cool we could hardly stand it. We want to move in ‘cause there’s a Mama, great food, and pretty pink lights. The chicken on the menu with the feather up his butt was really innovative and the painting with the soooouuuul woman in a red dress groovin’ down Roscoe’s aisle made us feel like we were really there. “Feet off Mama’s booth!” shouts mama more than once. But some of us felt so dang short we were just trying to get higher...however taller is not worth the “$500 fine”. When unruly table three started throwin’ shit around (Buc y Bono being mostly responsible) Lovely waitress number two, we’ll call her Lil’ Mama (we weren’t able to catch her name--we’re such nerds) said, “Gimme love”.

Becky couldn’t stop raving about her smothered hArvey chicken and IvAn Johnson said the succulent #13 chickEN coulda been cut with a fork...considered the classic RAHscoe plate: one chix, one waffle. Kari luved the collard greens (as did Farrah and Erich, cooked in beef) and the corn bread, but she didn’t feel very light after the whole thing. And me CHrisLove felt really heavy with indigestion after my yummy fried AND smothered chicken livers with eggs and grits and lots of butter and a biscuit and some of airbubblesout’s waffle and some of Becky’s chicken. But is that any kind of surprise? Trixie loved the chicken and waffles so much so that she’s going back for breakfast again tomorrow. Mr. Name was happy to breathe waffles once again. Hi Tom who is on radio tour...dude, you missed out. Erich remarked that the rice and beans were best when smothered with hot sauce and burried in the unmarked grave (located somewhere near the liver). Sal had never had fried chicken and waffles before--it was a wierd combination that kinda worked: what Kentucky fried chicken oughta be. Heads up Sanders, you better sleep with one eye open! Brandon ordered the same thing as one of the guys in the Roscoe’s painting referred to earlier, it was good “particularly the really sweet potato pie,” which had the consistency of pumpkin pie.

The consensus is that this food is heavy, but delicious. Real soul food the way you imagine it in your head at night before going to bed. If you aren’t prepared for the heaviness, however: for example, if you live on a diet of cream of wheat and applesauce like Dr. Liz, you get sick. Duhhh Liz. ALso CHrisLove who eats mostly vegetables and Kari too amongst others got all surreal and dopey feeling afterwards, but Gruvlicius says we’re always that way. Bi’otch (or Bee-hatch) (trixie wants “B-aautch!”). I need another beer.

Mama made us fall in love (I know y’all havin a bomb time she says) We’re a pretty fuckin’ unruly bunch, as you might imagine, and that woman whipped us into shape: even those of us known for our sassy mouths and sarcastic frosting became tame little babies in her presence. Things got done: food was served, sunrise specials, moist towlettes afterwards (sooo Civilized). These two women were the most efficient and friendly service team we have ever had the pleasure of obeying. And so therefore we the SDC award them the Mama award of Honor for wit and patience. Ivan wore a wig as usual and looked like a heavy metal star this time. Trixie wants to go back, she already misses mama. Could she come home with us and straighten out our hopelessly fucked up lives? Mama called ChrisLove “baby” and made ChrisLove feel like a baby again.

(CL)

Words that rhyme with chicken: dickin’ n’ trickin’ in da frickin’ kitchin’, lickin’ flickin’ n’ kickin’ until yer strickin’, strippin’ and dippin’ with your heelz a ‘clickin’. pickin’ the stickin’ wiccan cause’ she’s bitchin’!

Question of the Week: Trixie wants to know how she can arrest the flood of pure, clear, delicately salted fluid flowing from her scarlet nasum? stop it up with dust, drink water through your nose upside down, snort coke (or pepsi) through a dirty gym sock, do healthy things and get sleep, fill in nostrils w/reinforced concrete, put fresh butter in your hair and then dip your entire head in vigorously boiling water, eat sushi and don’t pay, It’s a vicious circle of passive acceptance passive acceptance is a vicious circle, Stretch out the squid lengthwise along a cutting board, cut and clean. Carefully remove beaks, ink sacs; then, carefull, once again--this cannot be stressed enough--remove the clear quill of the squid. Insert up sinus passages (requires two fresh squid), worship Cthulhu, make sacrifices.

ChrisLove, Trixie, Ivan Johnson, Gruvlicius, Airbubblesout (HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY), Mr. Name, Cake, Buc y Bono/Mr.Right Now! Brandon, Becky J., Erich, Malcom, Labecca, Kari, Farrah Rocker, Liz Squared, Prickles, Olivia the Black Rose, Bazza, Sal, Joye Faye, Nihilater, Yuki Starr in drastic purple patent plastic.

Special after-party appearance: Peetey-Meister of the ever-changing A.K.A.

AHHH Yeah, it’s a five-olive martini Time! ANd Trixie's got an apple one...