2100 W. Sunset Blvd. (near Alvarado)
Los Angeles, CA. 90026
(213) 413-0800

RESERVATIONS: Accepted, Reservations for Large Parties, Entertainment, Beer & Wine

ATMOSPHERE: Offbeat, Romantic, Very Casual, Lively, Quiet

RECOMMENDATIONS: Singles, Couples/Dates, Business Dining, Teens/Youth, Families/Children, Seniors, Gay/Lesbian, Large Parties, Quick Eat, View, Conversation, People Watching, Power Scene

REVIEWED: May-23-2000

FOOD: GOOD
AMBIANCE: VERY GOOD
SERVICE: EXCELLENT

Momma Mia! There were so many of us: one after another, group after group; the table got longer and longer, bigger and stronger. But the SDC isn't daunted by two sided benches, baby, we reconfigured Pizza Buona OUR WAY. And that1s when things started to get tricky, aided in no small part by the ultra-sweet, head-ache style, wino-wine, which started off the most liquor-laden SDC experience to date. When we looked at the review the next day we couldn1t make any sense out of most of it. So please bear with this editor who is trying her damndest to make it all mean something--which, as we all know, is nearly impossible in this city.

Gruvlicius couldn1t stop talking, dancing, writing, pontificating, licking her chops, and masturbating while visualizing world pizza, etc. The gratified SDC crew enjoyed this little taste of Italy, in all its cheeky glamour. The name here at Buona used to be "O Bozza", back in da dayz. We know cuz we1re old timahz! CTHULHU, the spy, had this to say about his mission: "I, CTHULHU, was in the kitchen, on my way to the bathroom, several times and was favoraparty afterwarebly impressed with what I saw. Of particular interest was the 2 gallon jug of Gallos wine being transferred to the 1 liter carafes being distributed liberally amongst the patrons. Chilled red required a trip to the industrial strength fridge, room temperature meant a reach up to the shelf where more than 20 jugs of California's finest waited to be consumed. At $6.30 a liter, who could complain?" Trixeee loved that wine so much she couldn1t stop wishing we would all just stay there instead of going to Gruvlicius1 pad. The rest of us, however, would rather have licked the floor than spend an entire evening drinking that cotton-candy concoction.

Pizza Buona was small and we filled it. First two tables in the middle then we added another and another until all the other diners gave up and left. We don1t like to think of ourselves as exclusive, we love everyone--but I think sometimes we might overwhelm the general populace. Not everyone likes freaks. CTHULHU knew the second he saw the cheap veneer paneling...this place must be real labor of love, and the cheese-ass selections on the jukebox confirmed it. The basic pizza with pepperoni and mushrooms--far from being merely passable, was mouth-watering, despite the No.10 can basis of the sauce. The lasagna was shockingly good (definitely better than jail-style food). Trixeee's fave pizza was the basil garlic and tomato one. There was not even one bullet hole she says. "Bullshit," says Bazz, "I seen em." Daisy the dog recommends the pepperoni pizza; Vicious the sausage, basil and garlic although his table ordered the Rustic with shrimp that was not to be snicked at.

Elton had spaghetti and meatballs that was hard to finish because there was such a heavy sauce, so thick, every bite seemed like a hundred. The dish was orgiastic, though a bit indigestion-inducing near the end of the evening. Walter McBuck said he liked the atmosphere, it was just like home and the service was excellent. He ate the "titillating" steak Marsala--it made his nipples hard. MMMmmmH, sounds good.

Mostly decipherable gibberish from the Orwellian millennium after-party:

(we are not winos, we are why yesses!)

The party started with a broom stick to the roof, followed by Gruvlicius saying "fucking fuck him, it1s my birthday", in response to tired neighbor below. His only wish was that he could rest up for another day in the straight world of corporate finance, but alas, it was not to be. Five hours later it is 2:30 AM and we1re watching reruns of the ERH show at Ellis Island.

Shagggmeister says it was Pizza out of the chicken that went to the library. Abstract contemplation of the meaning of pizza: Did ya here about the chicken that went to the library? And it said "Book book". He brought his friend the frog there the next day and every book the librarian showed him he said "Read it, read it". That's some clean yogurt! ("hey, what the hell does all this mean?")

ChrisLove1s poem for our one sole server: "Otilia, Otilia, Oh to be Otilia. A dreamy state of calm in turbulent swirls of hungry mouths." Nothing fazed that chick--she1s a REAL waitress, man! Besides the righteous pizza, was the totally puce-mouthed jukebox afterwards . The SDC ate that shit up! Squid Vicious said that it reminded him of a wedding back home in Jersey. That's amore!

Looking at black patent-porting Princess Prickle chewing on a crust in one hand, whilst holding a glass of (chilled) house red in the other and eyeing sunshine on the jukebox re-affirmed ChrisLove's belief in the sanctity of the surreal.

Meanwhile, Trixee was indeed sufficiently inebriated, the exit made an entrance, This computer sucks,g.liccious better get a new onemeathaus has left the building,not really.bottom line---------good party? If you like being dissed by self-righteous clams! Gol derned clam-necks always misinterpreting the situationists! Dont unnerstan the finer points of solar-phallic energetics. What clam ever did?

It is late now , no matter what happens , if everyone gets home safely, it was a nice time. I wish I had drank as much as the girls. Maybe there is still time. Off to The frigidaire.

CL

Alternate Lyrics for "That's Amore", Written Before Utter Inebriation:

When an eel bites your thigh, with a glint in his eye, that's a moray.

When you have just one bale , you get one in the mail, that1s a more hay.

When you have just one joke, and it is just so stale, that1s a boring.

When a chick makes you sigh, then turns out to be a guy, that's a transvestite-whore, hey!

When you have a soiree with a Juan and Jorge, that1s a foreplay.

When ya smoke some good grass, then ya shove it up her ass, that's immorrrralllll!

When you pass out tonite, whew, your way outta sight, that's amoray.

Alternate Lyrics for "That's Amore", Written After Utter Inebriation:

When Italian food is prepared in L.A. by a guy named Jorge'.

When the mafia says you have no time to live that's a smartie.

When you throw the first punch and it hurts that's a smartie.

When he pulls out a gun and you run for the hills that's a smartie.

When you reach with your hand and it turns out to be red that's a dummie.

When they walk down the funeral halls that's a res(?)outio.....

I thought it was a bore all that a more I was wrong.

When the moon hits your eye- looks like a big pizza pie that's amore.

when you have one big hit and your career takes a shit that's volare.

volare--ooooooooooh pizza partay----ooooooooh i like kissing up to your ass (if it's okay with the Sinatras).

Sinatra oooooh mafia ooooh

SOME MAFIA ADVICE:

-ALWAYS FACE THE DOOR AT DINNER.

-NEVER GO IN FOR A FITTING AT A CONCRETE SHOE STORE.

-DON'T ASK TRIXEEE...EXTACYTRIXMEEE!

-NEVER SAY YOU1RE SORRY TWICE.

-WHEN YOUR BOSS GOES TO KISS YOU At YOUR MAFIA INITIATION, DON'T MAKE A FUNNY FACE.

-WHEN YOUR FATHER GIVES YOU A GUN AND ORDERS YOU TO KILL YOUR UNCLE AND WHEN YOU DO, AND THE GUN IS EMPTY, DON'T USE YOUR HANDS. (why not?)

Meit/huas, Mister the Saint, Shifty V, Hedy, Wrong Dimension Boy, Magic Shoe, CTHULHU, HeyJuan!, Ivan Johnson, Farrah Rocker, Olive Tuna, Elf Junior, Steve Dewall, Airbubblesout, Leggy Mountbatten, Captain Chocolate, ChrisLOve, Trixeee, Kari Kaos, Prickle, Gringa, Jiggy Spiggs, Shelley, Walter Allen McBuck, Gruvlicius, Elton Kriste, Filmo!!, Jill Weiss, Pia Smith, Jane Mansfield, Bazmatazzz, Dr. Liz, Squid Vicious, Karle & Dawn Locks, Gusto, Photodol, Peter Tuile, FrancisX, "Phil", Sara, Johann, Petey Meister, Stephanie...

RECOMMENDED DISHES: just about everything but the lamb

.

.