We wish we had come here before it was a remodeled Ralph Lauren/corporate medieval English manor with interrogation lighting, but they had a rockin' big table with these cool flip-down leaves so you could easily git th’ fuck out to get relief. That was good planning on their part! As we walked in they were singing happy birthday on the gaaddaammm PA system. We thought “KEWL” cuz it was bruther Cake’s birthday, but then I found out it was just some other poor stooge getting ready for a nightmoorish meal. If you like eating pig slop, read no further. We got ya covered; this one is gonna be easy: the appetizers came looking like a refugee from the front line at Da Nang. Plenty cooked and tasting glad, rolling in oil. Real baaad. The fish chewed like a burlap sack found on the beach, with the bones included, of course. I got it down with a lot of tartar sauce and cold water. Someone else split their fish w/someone else and only had to eat half—oh lucky ones! The chicken gumbo didn’t kill its recipient.

Whoever was on the receiving end of the coffee urn needed a trip to 7-11 for a case of frickin’ Pepto-bismol. We’re talking Draino on ACID! Oh why didn’t I drink hemlock? The Heineken was good and tasted full-bodied, just like Shamu the happy captive whale.

Dinners came with potato stuff or rice and frozen green beans and white-trash salad; read: this is not necessarily ethnocentric. Hi Mom! Rare steaks were shoe leather, but fine Italian shoe leather (Famolare shoes)…and some cogniscenti like it that way, lover. French fries were good and mashed potatoes too. In short, carbs were good but all meat products were less so--with the exception being the cheese steak sandwich which was good yet could have been more amply filled.

I had the trout and it was fine.

Amy’s egg Florentine was not seductively runny but hard-boiled. Just like this place. Maybe the overcook-it phenomenon was ‘cause there wuz 26 of us'. Egad! This place is like Denny’s which I hate, only with harlequin diamond-pattern art deco booths and classy lightin’. Undoubtedly the building was built way back when they had carport entries and inviting lobbies. There is free and plentiful parking which is way cool if only we ever wanted to return. Brad said the décor used to be a really cool dive, but now it’s like a Vegas ski lodge.

Seriously folks, this is your basic diner which graciously accommodated a large group of rowdy assholes very late at night. Plus they’re open 24/7 and that beats Fred 62 anyday(but what wouldn't?). But looking around at the other diners, one couldn’t help but notice how many attractive, Stylish put-together Korean women and their families were there. Is this where they go when they expect honest-to-goodness American fare? We hope not! Thumbs up for the psychic waitress.

(B&CL)

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